If you had loved the person, you would have loved him for who he is, not for what he does or what he possess. In that case, even if the person changes his behaviour permanently, you will still love the person, because you did not loved just a quality of that person but you loved The Person. This is what people call unconditional love. But I feel there cannot be unconditional love, because unconditional is another meaning of love.
And all relationship problems can be understood with this insight.You can notice everywhere in the world, you will find that people who love you do not love you – they love something within you.
So remember this – people love what you do, not who you are. Because if they love who you are, then they wont abandon you, no matter how you changed your behaviour.
This is the secret behind the saying – mother’s love is the greatest in the world. Look at this simple fact, mother loves you for who you are, whether you are white or black, intelligent or dumb, successful or failure, mother always loves the child.
There is a funny thing – no mother will abandon the child just because the child wants to go with a neighbor or another woman for a ride, but the same woman will abandon her husband if he goes out with another woman. As a mother she accepts the child as he is, but as a wife, she cannot accept husband as he is.
In almost every relationship except mother and child, it is conditional love.
So…
Know that people do not love you, they love what you do.
And what should you do? Love people for what they are, not for what they do. Because if you love someone for what he does, that will change in time, and so also your love will change. |
